[fart] "If I would've just done that, I'd be sitting in a mess right now." -Anonymous

Crazy Lady in library: "He was totally evil spiriting me. You need to lock him up."
Alan's response: "I'm not the person to talk to about that."

"Women are inferior to men, bottom line! ... at least in sports they are." - Anonymous

"God would totally kill Jordan in basketball." - Derek

"I would totally do northern Italy as a girl ... probably." - David